When I was a kid, things were much different from now. My parents set strict standards of behavior with which I was expected to comply. They lived by the very same rules themselves, so there was never a double standard. I guess most of it sunk in eventually.

Over the years since I first became a father, I have frequently wondered if my children would ever pay attention to the lessons I have tried to teach them through both word and example. Parents with much more experience than I often told me, "Stick by your principles...they'll learn." Over time, my faith in their ability to learn anything from me was often very seriously called into question.

The adolescent years were the hardest, but my older advisors said, "At times, it may seem as if your kids came from another planet, constantly asserting their independence, and seemingly rejecting every aspect of your beliefs. But a time will come when you will be pleased to discover that they were really paying attention all along." It sounded terrific to me, but I had an awfully hard time believing it.

Not long ago, my oldest daughter, Kelly, received her diploma, with honors, from a fine university. After the ceremony, we all went out to dinner, and that was an even more momentous occasion for me because I finally learned that kids really do pay attention, often in ways that parents don't recognize at the time.

Over our meal, Kelly told us of a class assignment she was given where she was asked to describe five pivotal occasions in her life. She referred to one in particular as "The Girl Scout Cookie Story."

She said, "I remember when Jeanine (her sister) and I came home from a Girl Scout meeting talking about how, if we each sold 100 boxes of cookies, we would receive an award. But someone had told us that there was a lot of competition from other girls, so we shouldn't get our hopes up."

"Daddy disagreed. He said, "Nothing's impossible. If you make your mind up to succeed, you will." He said that the secret is organization. He told us, "Your biggest problem is a lack of time, taking orders, then having to revisit the customer to deliver the cookies and collect the money."

What we should do is order in a lot of cookies. Then, using a wagon, have one of us take orders on the odd numbered side of the street. The other will then deliver the cookies and collect the money. On the even numbered side, to be fair, roles will be reversed." We ordered cookies all right. The house was full of them. using his method, we both far exceeded our goals."

"Daddy taught me that if I want something badly enough, and am willing to work hard for it, I can succeed. It's all in my head. He also proved to me that working together is far more effective than competing with one another."

I've been smiling ever since.

Edmund W. Boyle

Used with permission by Mr. Boyle