And I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts til 8 pm.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps...with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without any aspirin, Beano or antacid.

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I have to go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, wild children, and politicians.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place, after all I put it in a safe place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I wonder why they let children become doctors, lawyers, policemen and fire fighters nowadys.

I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 70??

I'm supporting all movements now...by eating Bran and Raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts. I just can't remember where the storeroom is.

I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!!